Parenthood, Prayers and Post-It Notes - learning to be a disciple whilst raising young children

Young adults with no ties are the most mobile people in the world.


For example, one of my friends has recently left his job and rented accommodation and gone to live and work in Switzerland for 5 months with a winter holiday company. It was a brave move from him, but at no time in his life will this be easier than now.


I used to be the same. As someone who had the privilege to travel a little when I was younger, I visited South Africa aged 17, lived in West Africa for 5 months aged 18, visited friends in the USA aged 19, and travelled to Romania in a minibus when I was aged 20.


More locally, I could get a phone call from a friend inviting me to go somewhere, and never have to consult anyone. At a minute's notice, I could sign up for hours of prayer at a 24:7 prayer event. 
  
13 years later I'm married, have 2 children, 1 aged 2, the other aged 1. I don't really go out much, lacking time and money. And we certainly don't go abroad at the moment. My life is highly routine, fitting around 3 primary things - work, time with my wife and kids and local church life.


All these 3 things are incredibly precious to me, very important and it's right that I concentrate on them.


But one thing I couldn't really work out - and I'm only beginning to figure out - is how on earth to keep my own spiritual life alive and kicking when I have so little time, and frankly when I'm so tired. The easiest thing when I can rest from work and the kids is to watch TV then go to bed, scanning lazily over the Bible before giving up and going to sleep.


And being a new dad, how on earth can I partner with Liz to raise our kids in a way that encourages them to grow their own Christian faith?


One day recently I accidentally found an answer in the form of Post-It Notes.


I had led a short time of prayer at work where we had all written "Thank You" prayers on yellow Post It's, and "Please..." prayers on orange ones. Having shoved them all in my pocket at the end of the week, I  brought them home so that I could pray over them outside of work time as well.


And the next day (a Saturday), when I was trying to figure out what to do with my 2-year old son, I realised I still had the Post-It's in my pocket.


So I sat Sam up in his "big boys chair" and we sat together as I showed him the Post-It's and he asked me what they said. I talked him through the colour system, let him draw on all of them, and as I prayed a few of the prayers and thanks, he joined in a bit.


Don't get me wrong, this did not last for hours, and the angelic host did not turn up in our dining room.


But this was a revelation for me, a real breakthrough. Because my "quiet times", which as a single man had been so easy to have alone and focused, were now adjusting to include my son now that I'm a father.


And as well as saying "Grace" at the dinner table with us, Sam is starting to see other ways of praying, the need to say Thank You to God as well as Please, and - I hope - a genuine faith in his mum and dad.


And this morning, my first day off work for a while, I gave Liz a lie-in and got the children up, and after putting our youngest in bed for her morning nap, got to do the same basic thing. Sam mostly wanted to draw on my "Please" and "Thank You" paper. However, after a while I left him to read his own book, and started reading the Bible next to him.


Sam - who by the way has severe ezcema and has been scratching his wrists until they bleed recently - saw the book, asked what it was. I told him it was the Bible, and he bowed his head and said, 
"Thank You, Jesus for this lovely, lovely drawing [one he'd just drawn], and we pray... no more scratching... Amen"


My jaw was on the floor. 


I am sure this is no replacement for my alone time reading the Bible and praying. However I'm starting to learn how to be a disciple in less of a "lone-ranger", individualistic way.  And as so much of my time is either at work or with the family, I am just starting to learn how to bring my spirituality into raising kids in a way that they can begin to understand, and which doesn't involve stifling them or expecting more of them than is fair for their age.


If any blog-readers have other ideas about combining parenthood with "quiet times" etc, feel free to add comments under this post. I am very willing to hear other ideas.


Merry Christmas


Pete